I've been a little busy

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Snow Days

I hate the cold. I grew up in one of the warmest places in Canada and have never quite acclimatized to the Prairie winters.

I tend to hibernate the winters away, much to the disappointment of my kids. I'm just not big on spending half an hour getting toddlers dressed for the cold only to stand around watching them for the next hour, freezing my butt off.

That being said, I love the snow. Snow is wonderful and if it was warmer than -30 C outside most days we have snow, my kids might get outside more in the winter months.

As is, when the snow flies we play lots of indoor games. Hide and seek, dress up and crafts are big in our house. In fact I think hide and seek is the reason that my kids count so well.

Today we got over 20cms of snow. It's gross and I have no plans on going out in it at all. I did my service by driving the Sprogling to school this morning and got to see all the cars in the ditch or in accidents.

Nope, I think hibernating is the better plan. Now if only I could get my groceries delivered to my house, I'd never have to leave.

She Makes Me Smile

On Becoming Depressed

I've struggled with depression since I was a teen. When I was sixteen, I did the responsible thing and went on birth control pills because it was something I could do to prevent having babies, and there was no way in he'll I was having babies before I was good and ready.

What my doctor failed to mention is that it can cause major mood swings and depression. Awesome! So in the seven months I was on the pill I broke up with the boy that I went on the pill for, started cutting myself and spent most of my time in bed or crying.

I went on antidepressants for about a year and managed to even out my hormones. When I miscarried three years later it all started again. If my hormones get unbalanced I get depressed. So you can imagine what pregnancy does to me.

Since giving birth six weeks ago I can feel myself slipping back down the rabbit hole. The really sick thing is, it's comfortable.

I know myself when I'm depressed. I know how others react when I'm depressed. I know how my husband will react if I do A or don't do B.

During my marriage I've been pregnant/breastfeeding for longer than I have not been. My hormones and moods have been off the scale and I've found myself depressed.

This time I've been trying my hardest to not follow the comfortable path. To do all the things they tell you to do. Eat well, exercise, get sunlight etc. I tried to get my doctor to give me a prescription for antidepressants but he's been very reluctant to do so.

I get that some of it gets passed along to the baby but it's a toss up to whether or not having a happy healthy mom outweighs the trace amounts he'd be getting.

So wish me luck. Tell me that its wrong to be comfortable being sad. Tell me to get off my butt and go for a walk instead of sit on the couch all day.

TV Wars

Tonight my husband and I got into an argument. Over the tv. It wasn't even about what to watch. At least not directly.

We just got Netflix. It's amazing and now downloaded onto every device that I can download it to. (For the record, that's two iPhones, one iPod, one non phone functioning iPhone, an iPad and two game systems. We.... are a little obsessed with technology in this house.)

My husband at first questioned the need or want for this service. He happily ignored me when I downloaded it and started watching old, slightly bad British shows (they look better on the phone than the pad.)

Over a week or so he started watching over my shoulder. Another week and he requested that I download it onto our tv.

That brings us to tonight. My husband took control of the remote and was struck by the sheer choice he had.

Now not everything on there is good mind you, but that just made the time it took for my husband to make a bloody choice that much longer.

After looking through half the choices, and a good twenty minutes later he finally got tired of me begging him to choose.

I foresee many an argument in my future.

The Pantless Wonder

Does anyone out there have any tips on how to keep pants on a three year old? Because at this point I'm beginning to consider either duct tape or staples.

I never thought I'd have this problem when I had kids. I anticipated the antics of my daughter, she would happily spend all day changing her outfit. My oldest on the other hand would ate happily be naked all the time.

Did I mention that it's the middle of winter and freaking cold outside?

I get my son dressed in the morning and less than five minutes later I see a little streaking toddler. It's a constant battle.

I'm thinking the duct tape will work best.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Well hello again

This is me attempting to hold onto a little of my self.

Over the past year I have slowly let bits of what makes me who I am disappear. It started out innocently enough. My laptop died. We decided not to replace it because it was an expense we didn't want to deal with at the time. Unfortunately that meant that I was no longer able to write.

My laptop meant that I could drag it around and type a few minutes here and there. We have a desktop but sitting down behind that meant that my kids had that much more time and opportunity to cause chaos.

It got to the point where I willingly gave up so many bits of myself that I didn't recognise myself anymore.

It was a dark time.

Two weeks ago something changed for me. The biggest thing was I had my third child. He's so beautiful and now that I'm not pregnant anymore, I'm not sick. Feeling healthy is a wonderful thing.

With this restored health, I've made a promise to myself to take back some of what I had lost. Like a clean bedroom. And writing.

This is my start.