Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I’m a Young Mum

So I'm going to come right out and say it. I'm only 22. Actually I'm one month shy of 23, but to the world at large it's the same difference. I had the Sprogling when I was 21 and Little Bit at 22. I plan to have one more in the next couple years. And then I'm done. All my procreation accomplished before the ripe old age of 30.

I'm really glad that we started early. It took us two years of trying to get the Sprogling. I was only 18 when I miscarried our first baby. I was poked and prodded and diagnosed with unexplained infertility issues and spontaneous miscarriages. It just about broke my heart and put a huge strain on our marriage (yes, I got married at 18). Having gone through high school petrified that I was going to get pregnant every time I even fooled around with a guy, it was a huge shock to not be able to get pregnant. To have doctors tell us that we are in what should be the prime of our childbearing years and we should get pregnant if my husband even sneezes on me. Two years was more than enough of infertility. It left scars that I'm still dealing with now after two babies. That brings us to how we got Little Bit though. Having taken so long to get the Sprogling, we started, well not exactly trying but definitely not trying to prevent pregnancy fairly soon after him.

Being a young mom has repercussions though. When it was just the Sprogling, I had people come right up to me and chastise me for getting pregnant and dropping out of high school , which, uhm, I didn't. I'd get snotty looks and on that fantastic day at the playground I got asked if I was babysitting. I was in my second year of university when I got pregnant with him and walking the halls 5 months pregnant I'd get looks of pity from everyone that I passed. They treated me like pregnancy was a disease that they could catch from touching me and it was something they didn't want.

Now it's just really hard to make friends. Most of the people that I meet with kids are in their late 20's or in their 30's. They either think I'm too young and slap "unwed mother" on my forehead and don't bother getting to know me or they get squicked out because I've been married and had children longer than they have. I have one firm girl friend; she had her first baby three months ago and is the same age as I am. We have a lot in common and it's fantastic to have someone who really gets everything that I'm going through and I can be there for her when her baby starts doing something new and terrifying (not pooping for 14 days anyone?).


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